Where are these monkeys coming from??

I've been very busy, as usual. I have just spent the weekend installing two Windows Server 2003 systems, one Active Directory and one Exchange 2003. The drivers that came with my original IBM hardware were crap. Especially the 320 SCSI adapter. It blue screened my server more than once. But I seem to have everything going alright now. The only things left are moving the clients into the new domain, and talking with Symantec about the high pitched noise coming from my gateway appliance. Anyway... boring stuff for you I'm sure.

I had a dream the other night about a girl I nearly dated almost 10 years ago. She is one of my only true regrets. She was more than beautiful, she was amazing. And she really liked me. I was a clueless, spineless 19 or 20 year old with little confidence. The short version of the story is that I messed up my chances with her. Anyways, back to my dream. We were dancing a slow dance and I started to tell her how I felt about her back in the day. I told her everything I used to think, but was too shy to say at the time. I wonder where she is now, not that it really matters. I know she'd have to be married by now. I ran into her cousin a few years ago, but never inquired about her. It's funny, no matter how final the past is, it's still something that always finds a way to pull at me. I spend too much time looking back. I need to work on that.

It's been exactly three weeks since I last saw or spoke to Temptation. Everytime I don't see or hear from her for an extended length of time I think maybe I never will again. And that wouldn't be a bad thing. As much as I want to explore a relationship with her I am realistic about my circumstance. It's just not an option. So lately I've been doing some forward thinking, trying to put my existing life with my family back to half normal, and spending more time with the kids, when I'm not working of course. So what happens? She calls me yesterday. Says she's going to be back in town for a while and would like to go out for coffee with me this week. She doesn't even drink coffee. I should have said "no"... but I didn't. I really have created a mess.

I feel like Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) in The Godfather III.

"Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in."