Today was Father’s Day, or more technically yesterday was, but I have yet to go to bed. I have never really thought much about this day because growing up I never celebrated it. But today was the first time in my life that I could reflect without question on my father when this special day came around. I’ve thought about him a little over the last little while, wondering how he’s doing or if he still thinks about our conversation. It’s hard to believe that over seven months have passed since we met back in October. I remember both the feelings I had before we met and how I felt after. It had seemed like we would talk again and learn more about one another.
Of course things don’t always turn out as we foresee them or how they are suggested. I have not heard a word from him since last October when he seemed to have finally turned the corner in his life showing interest in me for the first time. There have been no phone calls or correspondence. It’s unfortunate that the sentiments he made to me have turned out to be, from every indication I have, false. Because as I told him then and I say now, I’m done. I no longer have to think about him if I don’t want to. My focus is on my own two sons.
The misfortune belongs to him.
7 comments:
I'm sorry. Some people just don't know how to express themselves, or communicate. Thanks for sharing this. I know I can relate.
I'm sorry as well. It's true that it is his loss and hopefully you find some peace of mind in knowing that you did your best. Also, don't necessarily think he is not interested in your life, he just might be having trouble dealing with his own life.
happy be-lated father's day :)
Thanks for the comments ladies. I appreciate it.
Deem, you are correct. He doesn't know how to express himself or communicate his feelings. This much he told me when we met. He doesn't even talk to the children he does see. Truly sad.
Lorena, you're exactly right also. I do have peace of mind knowing that I did all I could do over the course of my life and especially the last eight years in trying to meet and discover him. Now it's entirely up to him. And he knows that.
For me, now I can concentrate on giving my sons what I didn't have, a father.
hi cc, you are courageous for taking the first steps, for that reason your sons are lucky to have you as a father. you seem to have certain strength that comes from within - i bet it makes you a great dad!
happy father's day. ;)
I know you are a great dad for you are not following in his footsteps. :)
Awww... Thanks Stella and Deem, those are very kind words.
It's a sad thing when relationships are lost between children/parents. I have three children, and my ex-husband cannot realize that his selfishness is hurting his relationship with his children. The weird thing is that he cannot see it, and they are too scared to tell him, and he wouldn't believe me if I told him. I know you said that you were "done" with him, but hopefully one day he can wake up and realize the mistakes he has made, and that if that time ever comes that you two would be able to reconcile. Enjoy your boys!
Post a Comment