News of my demise has been greatly exaggerated

In the weird and wacky events of 2005 some good news has finally come about. My tests results came back clean. CAT scan was normal and blood tests were good. Also I was clean on the Diabetes test, which runs rampant in my extended family. Dr says it was a migraine caused by a blood vessel contracting impeding blood flow, in turn creating those crazy symptoms which I don’t believe I shared, but they were loss of vision, short term memory loss, loss of feeling in my arm and wicked headaches for five days. It was a little unnerving to say the least. Dr says it may never happen again, or could become a normal occurrence. I sure as hell hope not. Oh, and my arm is going to take 2 months to heal. As it turns out I clipped some tendons after all.

So lookout 31, here I come!

Blood Is Thicker Than Water

As it turns out cutting my wrist wasn't as painful as I had imagined. Now before you get all squirrelly thinking that I've become suicidal, don't. Last week while working at my kitchen table I was attempting to cut two plastic ties with my very sharp pocket knife when I accidentally plunged the 1 1/4 inch blade into my left wrist. The tie came off to easy or the knife was too sharp, either way before I realized what was happening I had stabbed myself. This was not a cut or slice, the knife went straight in. I have never seen so much blood. Of course I had no idea if I had hit an artery so I immediately covered and put pressure on it, and had the friend that was over take me to emergency. Luckily I missed the artery by about 2 1/2 inches, and I also didn't hit any tendons, just muscle. So for the past week I have had no use of my left hand. In fact I can't even hold a cup of coffee yet in that hand. Good thing I'm right handed.

But this brings me back to my previous post, only now I'm contributing to my failing body. Speaking of which, I had my CAT scan yesterday. So I should know next week if I'll see 31 or not. So with that I'm going to leave you with my favorite Jack Handy.

"When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car."

If I Remember...

Ok, so I realized that when I turned 30 I was definitely entering a new time in my life. Even though it was something I had been dreading for as long as I can remember, I did in some sort of backwards way think that maybe I'd somehow be growing into a new more mature me, almost like becoming more of an adult.

Never for a second did I think that I would instantly turn old and have my body start falling apart. Yet this is what seems to be occurring. I have now seen four different doctors in the past three months. That's more doctors than I had seen in the past three or four years. I don't feel like getting into all the particulars but this is starting to stress me out. Currently I am waiting to hear back from the hospital on a date for a CAT scan. I have in 30 years never even broken a bone, and now I'm getting my head examined?? Although now that I reflect, I can recall a couple of my ex-girlfriends making that exact suggestion. All joking aside I do hope this stops soon.

Enough wasted text...

I just finished watching 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' and I must say that it was pretty good. The whole concept of erasing specific memories of past relationships really made me think. Sure there have been tons of movies about erasing memories, most of which star Cali's Governor, but this was very unique in the way the concept was used for failed relationships. Kind of reminded me a little of a Terry Gilliam flick. I have seen a few of Charlie Kaufman's previous films so I knew what to expect, and was not disappointed in the least. If you haven't seen it, rent it. One thing I never realized before was how sexy Kate Winslet is. I never really thought much of her before... Of course I did see that terrible Titanic movie so maybe I had forgotten about her when I tried erasing the fact I lost 3 1/2 hours of my life watching a movie I already knew the ending to.

I personally don't think that erasing bad memories is a good idea. I think that it's our bad or difficult experiences and memories of them, that shape what type of individuals we become. And besides, if you had no bad or hurtful memories, how would you know if you had any good ones with nothing to measure them by?