The Sun Still Rose Today

Well I have survived, even tho I never really thought I would. I'm not too entirely sure how I should feel. This was one of, if not my biggest fear in the last few years. I often wondered how I would cope when the time came. Would I even get out if bed or would I just jump in my car and drive until I ran out of fuel? There were many things I wanted to accomplish by the time this came around. And I did most of them. In fact I did the most important one of them all, and that I am truly happy with.

You know when you're looking forward in time to an upcoming event or trip. Most of the time I can look forward to and see past those upcoming intervals in time. Meaning that I had an idea of what I'd be doing or how things would be going after those situations had past. But yesterday was something I have seen coming for years, and yet I have never been able to look or see past that day. But here I sit the day after and I am still living and breathing and typing... Albeit no faster or better than I have in the past.

So what now? I don't really know. Do I act differently? Or try to be different? I still feel the same as I did or rather always have.

For now I guess I'll simply try to take each day as it comes... so cliche, I know. But I'm still learning, after all, I've only been 30 for a day.

Starbuckers Incorporated

This is a strange time of year. It truly is amazing how people buzz around crowded stores pushing and shoving just to increase their overall debt load, all for a single day of embellishment and enjoyment. And then run out the very next day thinking they'll "save" money on these great Boxing Day sales, only pushing their debt higher. Now I remember when Boxing Day really meant real sales as stores tried to rid themselves of the left over Christmas stock. But for the last decade or so, it's been called 'Boxing Week'. And from what I've seen, these sales are no better than sales held at other times of the year. I simply refuse to get caught up in the senseless and undisciplined spending the retailers and credit card companies encourage. I have not always been that way, but I suppose my frame of mind comes from being older and slightly wiser than before. I mean really… is it necessary to buy something you don’t need simply because it’s on sale? Would you have bought it anyways? Probably not. Desire is a strong emotion, and that’s what these retailers are counting on.

Be strong. Boycott Boxing Week. Or not.

Today’s offline Blog brought to you today by the letter ‘Y’ and the number ‘8’

As in, ‘Why’ doesn’t Starbucks Canada get a clue and offer wireless Internet, when I spend ‘$8’ on a coffee and muffin??

One last thing… oh nevermind.

I n d i g n a n t

I sit here in the black
It’s never really black
Just the down pour of rain
And the cold in my veins

A friendly invite to scrutinize
Another excuse to antagonize
Your vexatious supremacy
And explicit vast of hypocrisy
You seduce the illusion of security
Do you think the blind can’t see

Your skull will rot and your eyes will bleed
When the harsh truth you finally perceive
But it’s too late because you can’t breath
I just finished your obituary

I sit here in the black
It’s never really black
Just the down pour of shame
And the disgust in my veins

Onward and Upward

In my continuing theme lately of 'doing things I've always wanted to do,' I went indoor rock climbing yesterday. My hands are so bruised I can barely grip my coffee cup today. And my shoulders feel like they were beaten with bamboo sticks all night. That being said, it was a lot of fun. A buddy and I went climbing for about four hours until we basically didn't have the energy left to look up let alone climb up. I'll probably go again in a few weeks after I've healed and have lured myself into a false sense of confidence.

I bought a Ferrari this week. OK, maybe it’s not quite what you might think. But it was the only Ferrari I could afford. My old notebook was getting over whelmed at what I was trying to do with it, so I bought a new laptop. It just happens to be the official Ferrari edition by Acer. Nice system.

Maybe now I’ll be able to type faster…

For Stella :P

Monday before last I get a phone call from my grandpa. He is in 'insert my location here' and just happens to have an extra ticket to Yanni. I politely decline the offer stating, "I really appreciate the offer grampa, but Yanni just isn't my bag. If you had tickets to Metallica I'd be all over it though."

Yanni is one of the last performers I'd ever subject myself to. Sure it's great that he's been playing the same type of orchestrated music for the last 30 or so years, and has always kept his long flowing black hair nicely conditioned. But really, I'd rather pull my nails out one by one. Or that's what I had thought at that moment.

I called home right after talking to my grandpa and explained to my wife the conversation I had had, thinking it was all quite amusing. However she didn't see it that way. She brought out a valid point. My grandpa lives four hours away and I don't see him as much as I'd like. And in the last two years I've lost two grandmothers, the most recent being last month, and one great grandmother. And maybe it would mean something to grandpa if I did go with him, if for nothing else just spending time with him. I really hadn't been thinking about him, more about myself.

So I called grandpa back and asked how much the ticket was. He said it was free for me, but I insisted on paying for it. He wasn't alone, he had one of my aunts with him. See what happened was, she had used grandpa's credit card to buy three tickets to Yanni last month, one for each of them and one for her male friend. Well my grandpa doesn't get much money as a senior citizen on his pension each month, and the friend of my aunt had cancelled the day before the concert leaving grandpa with an extra ticket he had paid for. This I believe was unfair as he really can't afford that, and my aunt had no means to pay for the unused ticket either even though it was her friend. It makes me mad that grandpa kind of gets taken advantage of by some of his children.

He was ecstatic that I had changed my mind, and I was kind of disappointed in myself for not thinking about him in the first place.

So that's what I did. I not only spent 2 hours of my life with 15,000 well behaved concert goers listening to the 80's style keyboard and orchestra music of Yanni, but I also forcefully paid $110.00 to do so. And while it differed quite heavily from my last concert outing, NIN in 2000, it made an elderly 76 year old very happy.

So how's that for a good explanation? ;)